IF PRESSED, I would have to admit that my usual inclination is to think of this opening episode, and indeed Series 1 in general, as being more “kiddie TV than I would like it to be, given everything that follows. But on the 20th anniversary of its first transmission, it is time to go right back to where they met and revisit Page One with fresh eyes...  if I can just get past the oh-my-god-how-young-they-all-are! thing.

So. First and foremost, this really isn’t, and wasn’t ever, just kiddie TV. Good god. It zips around like a zippy thing from Zippytown.  Maybe “nothing happens”, but there is so much here it scarcely matters that the wafer-thin plot is eked out over the first two episodes. Short scenes, packed in tight, and the dialogue is crammed in – 24 minutes bursting at the seams. So much, in fact, that it even spills out over the end credits.1

A certain person who shall remain nameless (but might have something in common with the name of this website) and I have argued before about TV as a disposable medium. But great television has a life beyond its initial broadcast – and Press Gang is rich in detail and nuance. Repeated viewings highlight the care and attention lavished on the production from the outset, and bring new insights and delight beyond that first hit.

So now, and with the benefit of hindsight, notice how much of the incidental detail is laid out here in Page One: Lynda’s penchant for all things red, Garfield (on a spike!!), and setting up the Junior Gazette’s first tabloid headline, for those predisposed to notice that the disco in question is called The Joint. Even the episode title itself will make a sly reappearance eventually.  And Himself wants me to believe that all this was designed to be zapped into the ether for 24 minutes, never to be seen again...  I’m finding it hard, let me tell you.2

There is a glorious chaos about the newsroom as it evolves during the first days of paper, and all hail to the set designers and dressers for their astonishing attention to detail. For me, my absolute favourite thing is the ‘Trespassers Will be Exterminated’ sign, which betrays SM’s fanboy roots far more eloquently than any ‘I Love Tom Baker and I Want to Have His Jelly Babies’ badge could, and which now brings a further frisson of delight in light of The Moff’s appointment as God of Doctor Who.  The fangirl in me wants to know which one of the JG staff was responsible for it. Lets face it, it can’t have been Julie – all the letters are in the right order, for a start...

Lynda is at the heart of this episode, getting the lions share of the snappy lines, many of which should continue to be exploited in everyday life given the slightest opportunity. “I've had more fun with a pencil stuck in my eye” and “I'll just fly over there on a pig” have proved very handy over the last two decades. Bizarrely, “Get more pollution from Sarah!” always amuses beyond reason, although it is sadly useless out of context. But it is “Lethal? Great!” which gives us the clearest indication of what we can expect from Lynda. Julia may have not quite yet hit her stride, but nevertheless it is quite clear that Ms Day’s steely gaze is already firmly on the prize, regardless of the number of small children that might be obliterated in the process.

Lynda aside, we are granted brief but potent tasters of our regulars here: Kenny as dependable, dumped-upon right-hand man, Frazz as slothful dimwit, Colin the racketeer and Julie, who cant spell (or draw!), but has better dress sense than Lynda (then again, who doesnt?). Danny manages to impress, despite that fact that he appears to have been dressed by his Mum. He has no qualms about standing up to Spikes hard-man facade, and with his bizarre single earring and languid pose, he somehow contrives to exude rebellion with more conviction than James Thomson Jr.  Matt Kerr and Bill Sullivan are clearly old friends, and rather pleased to find themselves reunited on this project, whilst Chrissie Stuart has been tasked with guiding Lynda into the shark-infested waters of journalism. Which now also makes them dragon-infested. They don't know what theyre dealing with...

And then there is the romance, and the drama. Oh boy. Here is Spike – brash, breezy, smart-mouthed – and hooked within a minute of first encountering Lynda.  There is a beautiful and revealing moment of intimacy, when he removes his shades (donned like armour before he enters the office) and declares war on dragons.3 The line is corny, but Spike is delighting in the thrill of the chase already. You can see why anyone with less starch in their tights might cave immediately.

Dramatically, the stand-out scene is when Cool Hand Kerr in his Cool Car encounters Spike in the car park. Imperceptibly, everything slows down, suddenly burdened with our soon-to-be-best-chum Captain Subtext.  Why, we might ask ourselves, does Spike engage so readily with Matt Kerr, given his transparent horror in the moment he first realises who he is talking to? Is that the unmistakable lack of a father figure thrumming in the air between them? There are clearly issues here begging to be unearthed, and so Spike’s apparent willingness to allow Kerr to convince him to stay piques the interest. [On a technical point, it’s also worth noting here that the end of this scene looks a bit odd, like it might have had to be restaged, which detracts somewhat from the action.]

Ultimately, of course, it is not Matt Kerr who coaxes Spike back into the newsroom, but Lynda. Which tells you everything you really need to know about their relationship right there – on Page One.

1. It should be noted that this particular little quirk predates by 18 months the use of the same device in the popular Channel 4 newsroom comedy Drop the Dead Donkey. There’s a thesis somewhere in there about the parallels between the two shows, but I’ll leave that for another day. Andy Hamilton borrowing off The Moff?! See also Colin Sammy in Trevor’s World of Sport.

2. I know what he meant. He meant that 7.5 million people in the UK watched The Girl in the Fireplace, and the chances are that 99% of them will never watch it again, nor have any wish to.  That’s not to say they didn’t enjoy it, but for most people, it’s now a vague memory. They certainly won’t be spending hours dissecting every line 20 years later... I find that rather depressing.

3. Disposable TV? Pah!!  It is soul-destroying to think that anyone should be putting so much thought into this amount of detail and then to have it not be fully appreciated. And it is inconceivable that most viewers would pick up on all of it, based on a single transmission in a kids slot.  Especially given that the dragon (the one that isn’t Lynda, that is), takes a whole year to materialise...

 

 

Email lynda@juniorgazette.net with your memories, observations or comments about Press Gang and we will publish our favourites on the site. The Editors decision is final.

First transmission: 16 January 1989, CITV, 1 x 25'

A Richmond Films & Television production for Central/CITV

 

click here to visit the old version of the website
VOLE, SPIKE, BLINK & PING have all been adopted by StevenMoffat.net to support I CAN.
lynda, spike, love & war Lynda in red, Where They Met, Garfield, Rubiks Cube, Spike  has been in the UK 4 years and suspended from school 6 times
sports & leisure the school dance sounds like it was fun!
history & continuity “I'll make a definite commitment to kill the first dragon that I see”; Frazz is a Scorpio; 5 days to the first edition
science & nature “Get more pollution from Sarah!”, maths teachers Stanwick & Anderson
geography & local colour Norbridge High, The Joint Discotheque, Jack Slade
entertainment Mr Vader's Star Wars program; “These days I never swear until after 9 o’clock”
random things we love KDs, Mystic Frazz’s zombie rats, making friends by questionnaire
 

 

This is a not-for-profit fan site, created for information and entertainment only. No copyright infringement is intended.

Website live since November 2006. Pages most recently updated on Saturday March 06, 2010. Part of the Impossible Things network.